I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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