Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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