lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
NoShamevember. You game?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
