the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
