im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize