I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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