she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize