i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
