I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
