i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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