I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
