So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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