Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
