even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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