I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He felt like a one man threesome
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Randomize
