apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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