Christians are straight up FREAKS
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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