I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
