I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
