nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
