Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
