so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
