I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
