We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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