Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
