Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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