My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
