garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
