she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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