Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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