I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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