I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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