if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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