its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
