Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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