i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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