In America we eat man semen.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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