why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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