Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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