i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize