my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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