can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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