You made me cry and you don't even care
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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