We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
