I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
