I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
