It's Friday. Sex?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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