So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she pinky promised me she was 18
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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