so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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