nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
