Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
