That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize