this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
