I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
