She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
