You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
