i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
