Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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