She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
