Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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