and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize